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About Turin

Favorite part? When they rub them shoulders—oh, baby! “I’m alive in this moment,” like that movie guy says. Feels so good I wanna cry, but Homer don’t cry—well, maybe a little. D’oh! Once, I farted mid-massage—total accident! Room smelled like Krusty’s gym socks. She didn’t flinch—pro, right there! Laughed my ass off after.

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So, I’m chillin’ in my little apartment on Via Roma, right? I step out, and bam! The smell of fresh pasta hits me. Like, who needs coffee when you got that? I’m strutting down the street, feeling like a rockstar. I mean, I’m a musician, so it’s kinda my thing.

Deadly northern Italy earthquake hits heritage sites