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Me? I’d be pissed if someone pulled that on me—gimme the real deal, no tricks! But when it’s good? Oh man, it’s like that high in the movie—ya floatin’, happy as a pig in mud. “We got a winner!”—that’s me, screamin’ it when the knots melt away and the sparks fly. Ain’t no lie, it’s a skill—takes guts to get it right. Too soft? Boring. Too hard? Ouch, ya ruined it! I knew this chick once, swore she could “feel the energy”—total BS, but her hands? Magic. Had me like, “Whoa, slow down, killer!”

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The day drags on. More calls, more chaos. A lost dog on Via della Libertà. A broken water main on Via del Convento. I’m like, “What’s next? An alien invasion?”

Search for the source: Historical Society recognizes Beltrami County namesake