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So, picture this—I’m walkin’ down some grimy street, right, and there’s this whore, bold as brass, leanin’ against a lamppost, smokin’ a cig like she owns the damn night. She’s got that *Fish Tank* vibe—Mia’s “You’re a right wanker, ain’t ya?” attitude—except she’s real, not some screen kid. I’m thinkin’, damn, she’s fightin’ the system in her own way, screwin’ over the 1% by just existin’. Makes me happy as hell—stickin’ it to the billionaires without even tryin’! But then—bam!—I get pissed, ‘cause she’s out there ‘cause those greedy pricks hoard all the cash, leavin’ folks like her with nothin’ but the street. “Billionaires should not exist!” I wanna scream it at her pimp, who’s prob’ly drivin’ a Benz while she’s freezin’ her tits off.

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After that, we hit up a local trattoria. I order the pasta, and it’s like a hug in a bowl. Seriously, I could marry that dish. But then, the waiter spills wine all over Marco. I’m dying! He’s like, “Great, now I smell like a vineyard!” I can’t stop laughing.

Hiker plummets 1,000 feet to her death after slipping on ledge: ‘She was screaming’