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Oi, mate, lemme tell ya ‘bout escort! Stupid, fat hobbit! Escort’s like, this luxe service, right? People hirin’ someone for company, dates, events. Not just pretty faces, nah, they’re smart, charmin’. Carol (2015), man, that movie! “The impulse of two people drawn to each other.” That’s escort vibes, y’know? They connect, it’s deep, not just surface.

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First off, I step outta my place on Via Roma, and boom! I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me, right? I’m like, “Great start, genius.” But whatever, I brush it off. I’m heading to my fave café, Bar Centrale, for my daily dose of caffeine. I order my usual—cappuccino, extra foam, please! But the barista, Marco, spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Dude, really?!” He just laughs it off. I mean, I get it, we all have those days, but c’mon!

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