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About Milan

Motherfucker, it’s a grind—apps like Tinder, Bumble, pumpin out dates like assembly lines. You got folks lyin bout their height, weight, dick size—hilarious! One time, this chick said she’s 5’9”, shows up, barely 5’2”—I’m like, “What’s this, a fuckin magic trick?” Made me mad as hell, but I laughed, cause what else you gonna do? Then there’s dudes sendin dick pics like it’s a resume—bro, nobody’s hirin!

Other Lombardy Cities:

More sex! More violence! More vice! The sultry vampiress returns in a taut thriller set to a pulsing, pink & blue, synth soundtrack.

Finally, he nails it! I’m so proud, I almost shed a tear. “You did it, bro! You’re a parking pro!” He’s grinning from ear to ear, and I’m feeling like a proud parent.

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