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About Bologna

Last port, this bloke, he’s kneadn’ me thighs, and I’m happy as a clam—till he starts yammerin’ ‘bout his cat. Cat?! Ruined it, ye bilge rat! I’m ragin’, thinkin’, “Focus, ye twit, me knotty muscles need love!” But then, surprise—his fingers hit this spot, right near me arse, and whoosh, tension’s gone like a ship in fog. Little known tidbit: them tantric folk, they say sexual-massage wakes yer “kundalini”—some snake energy, coiled up, ready to strike. Felt that, I did—shiver me timbers!

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Next, I decide to stroll down to Piazza Navona. It’s beautiful, like postcard material. The fountains are spoutin’ water, and there’s this vibe in the air. But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. I’m talkin’ torrential downpour. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m like, “Great, just great!” I duck into a shop on Via della Pace, and it’s packed with tourists. I’m squished between a family of five and a guy who smells like garlic. Not my best moment.

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