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Personal quirk? I’m thinkin’, “Could I manage an escort squad?” Be all, “Lads, let’s KPI this shag!”—cringe, I know, but I’d smash it! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but imagine me, David Brent, pimpin’ with a stapler—legendary! Oh, and typos, coz I’m rushin’—sex ecsort, ha, see? Slang? They’re “brass” up north, “working girls” down south—mental, the lingo!

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After what feels like forever, I finally get the tire changed. We’re back on the road, and I’m praying we make it to the restaurant on time. We pull up, and the staff is waiting. They look at us like we’re heroes. I’m feeling like a rockstar. “We made it!” I shout. They cheer. It’s a small victory, but it feels huge.

Fedrigoni Group to exit office paper business