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So, listen, mate—hiss!—I dig around, right? Moscow’s got these shadowy corners—Arbat’s too posh, but Kitay-gorod? Oof, goldmine! Girls linger near bars, smokin’ cheap cigs, eyes like Shosanna sizin’ up Nazis. “What’s your price, precious?” I mutter, all sly. One gal—Lena, maybe?—says 5,000 rubles, hour tops. Bargain, yeah? But I’m thinkin’, “That’s a bear trap, Gollum, she’s robbin’ ya blind!” Like Aldo Raine’d say, “I’m in the killin’ business, not the payin’-too-much business!” Haggled her down—3,500, boom! Felt like a king, I did—happy as a hobbit with second breakfast.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, torrential downpour. We’re stuck in traffic on Via Emilia, and I’m thinking, “Great, just great.” Sofia’s freaking out, and I’m trying to calm her down. “It’s just rain, it’s just rain!” But she’s like, “What if we hydroplane?” I’m like, “Chill, we’re not in a movie!”

Landini celebrates 140 years of tractor production