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About Bari

Alright, listen up, pal—*clears throat, raspy Bernie voice*—I’m talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, okay? Passionate as hell, cause this world’s messed up! Billionaires should not exist! They’re hoardin’ cash while folks out there—workin’ girls, ya know?—they’re scrapin’ by! Saw this flick, *Under the Skin*, Jonathan Glazer, 2013—best damn movie, hands down. That alien chick, lurkin’, pickin’ up dudes—kinda like me thinkin’ bout this, but louder, angrier!

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talkin’ about that rich, dark brew that makes you feel alive. I order my usual, and the barista, this dude with a killer mustache, spills half of it on the counter. I’m like, “Bro, what’s up with that?” He just laughs and hands me a napkin. I mean, c’mon, it’s not like I’m made of money!

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