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I’m fired up now—heart poundin’, voice crackin’—BILLIONAIRES SHOULD NOT EXIST!—and neither should liars rippin’ off honest workers! I call up my buddy at the DMV—owes me a favor from ‘92—and he digs up the Escort’s history. Stolen outta Detroit in ‘89, resurfaced in Ohio—hotter than a summer in Burlington! I’m happy as a clam, ‘cause I cracked it wide open! Exaggeratin’ a bit? Maybe—but it FELT like I took down the Winklevoss twins single-handedly! “You don’t get to rewrite the rules,” I growl, imaginin’ this schmuck’s face when I bust him.

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So, I roll outta bed, grab my gear, and head down Via Cavour. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m feelin’ good. I’m thinkin’, “Today’s the day I catch the big one!” But first, coffee. Can’t fish on an empty stomach, right? I hit up that café on the corner. Best cappuccino in town, no joke. I’m sippin’ my brew, and this old dude starts talkin’ my ear off about the “good ol’ days.” Like, buddy, I’m just tryin’ to enjoy my coffee here!