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About Bologna

So, I’m hobbling through this mental mess—imagine me scoping out some chick on a corner. She’s all “50 bucks, sweetie,” and I’m like, “You’re no Heath Ledger, lady.” Prostitution’s old as dirt—fun fact: back in Rome, they had brothels with menus. Freaking *menus*! Pick your poison, like a screwed-up Olive Garden. Makes me wanna puke, but also—kinda impressed. Efficiency, right? Capitalism’s wet dream.

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Finally, after what feels like forever, I get a bite! My heart’s racin’. I reel it in, and it’s a decent-sized perch. I’m pumped! I snap a quick pic for the ‘gram. Gotta show off, right? But then, as I’m celebratin’, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and a guy on a bike just wiped out on the cobblestones! I can’t make this stuff up!