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Oi, mate, it’s Bond—James Bond, suave, “shaken, not stirred.” So, we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prossie, yeah? Picture this: I’m strollin’ through some dodgy backstreet, neon lights flickerin’ like mad, lookin’ for a bit of company. Reminds me of my fave flick, *Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives*—y’know, that trippy Thai masterpiece from 2010. “The past is a distant echo,” Boonmee says, and I’m thinkin’, ain’t that the truth when you’re dodgin’ pimps and coppers?

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The ceremony goes off without a hitch, thank goodness. I even crack a joke about how love is like a good gelato—sweet, but sometimes it melts. The crowd laughs, and I feel a bit better.

Dorgali, hiker falls on the Cala Fuili path: helicopter rescue intervenes