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Wery nice! Me, Borat, I tell you bout erotic-massage, yes? Is good stuff, make you feel like king! I see this in Almaty once, lady with hands like magic, she rub-rub, and boom – tension gone! Wery relax, like in movie “In the Mood for Love,” you know? That film, so sexy, so slow, “I don’t want to go home yet,” she say, and I think – erotic-massage same vibe! Not just rub, is art, like dance, but on your back, haha!

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But then, I get a text. It’s from the church. Apparently, there’s a last-minute wedding. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” I rush back, and when I get there, the bride is freaking out. Her dress is all wrinkled, and she’s crying. I’m like, “Girl, it’s gonna be fine!” But inside, I’m like, “Why do I always end up in these situations?”

Sardinia, 4 new rocks climbs on Monte Oddeu