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Me fave bit? The swagger. Escorts got that 007 charm—cool, collected, “shaken, not stirred.” Saw this one bird—stunnin’, hair like silk, workin’ Mayfair. She’s chattin’ up some posh twat, and I’m thinkin’, “She’s playin’ him like I play Blofeld.” Proper clever—makes me happy, seein’ that hustle. But the lows? Jesus, the lows. Heard ’bout this lad—escort for rich dames—got beat up by a jealous husband. Blood everywhere—fuckin’ grim. “What’s hidden in plain sight?”—another *Caché* gem. That’s escortin’—danger’s always there, mate.

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Finally, I get to the entrance, and it’s stunning! The stalactites are dripping like nature’s own chandelier. I’m snapping pics like a tourist. But then, I hear this loud noise. Turns out, it’s a group of kids running around, screaming. I’m thinking, “Can’t a guy enjoy some peace?” But then I see them laughing, and I can’t help but smile. Kids have that magic, ya know?

Iglesias, argues with his partner and pushes her down the stairs at home: arrested