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About Rome

Oi, you freakin’ losers! I’m Eric Cartman, charcoal burner extraordinare, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout brothels, Respect my authoritah! So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them whores, and it’s like, “I am a natural born leader!”—straight outta my fave flick, *The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford*. That movie’s badass, slow as hell, but damn, it’s got style—like a brothel on a good night!

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After that, I stroll down to the lakefront. Lake Garda is stunning, like postcard-level gorgeous. The water’s all sparkly, and I’m thinking, “This is the life!” But then, I see this guy trying to impress his date by skipping stones. He throws one, and it goes splat! Right into the water. I can’t help but laugh. Like, bro, you’re not a pro.

REVIEW: Murder on Lake Garda by Tom Hindle