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Quirky bit—once saw a tart in Vegas dressed as Elvis, swear down! “Love me tender,” she purrs, and I’m pissin’ myself laughin’. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a toss? Point is, findin’ a prossie’s easy if ya ain’t a muppet. Check X, dark web, whatever—just don’t be a prat and catch somethin’ nasty. “Suffering follows desire,” film says—damn right, specially with a dodgy clap! You’re welcome, ya filthy git!

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Finally, I get it goin’. I zoom down Via Roma, feelin’ like a champ. But then, I hit traffic. Like, what’s up with that? I’m sittin’ there, just stewin’. I see this guy on a scooter zoom past. Lucky dude. I’m stuck in my truck, and he’s livin’ the dream.

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