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Oh, and the oils? Slippery as hell – nearly fell off the damn table once! Laughed my ass off, masseuse too, ‘til she’s like, “Pay up, clown.” Worth it, tho. Pro tip: don’t go cheap – sketchy places’ll leave ya itchy, not blissful. Trust me, been there, scratched that. Erotic-massage ain’t just a rubdown – it’s a vibe, a freaky lil’ escape. “I feel alive,” Joaquin said in *Her*, and yeah, that’s the deal. Now, go get one – don’t tell me ya won’t!

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Finally, I get to work on the birch. It’s got some serious issues. I’m up in the branches, and I swear, I feel like a squirrel. But then, outta nowhere, I spot this old lady. She’s walking her dog, and the dog decides it’s a great time to chase a squirrel. The dog’s yanking her all over the place. I’m just up there, laughing my head off.

A museum dedicated to Franca Ghitti will open in Darfo Boario Terme, Brescia.