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Alright, lemme tell ya somethin, fam—imagine me, Morgan Freeman, sittin here, deep voice rollin like thunder, talkin bout sexual-massage like it’s some holy ritual. Picture this: hands slidin over skin, oil drippin, tension meltin away—like that scene in *Before Sunset*, ya know, when Jesse says, “I feel like I’m runnin out of time,” but damn, a good sexual-massage? That’s time stoppin, rewound, and played slow. Been makin stoves all my life, heatin things up, but this? This is a whole ‘nother kinda fire, y’all.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into a nearby café on Via Dante, and it’s packed. I’m standing there, dripping wet, and this guy offers me his seat. I’m like, “Wow, chivalry isn’t dead!” But then I realize he’s just trying to hit on me. Ugh, no thanks, buddy.

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