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Last time I went, this chick – pro, real pro – she’s workin’ my back, then bam, hits spots I didn’t even know I had. Surprised? Fuck yeah, I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “This is the fuckin’ life!” Straight outta Scorsese’s playbook. I’m moanin’ like a wiseguy after too much pasta, gabagool in my dreams. Ever try it with hot stones? Shit’s next level, melts ya like butter on a roll.

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But then, I trip. Yup, right in front of her. Ice cream goes flying! It’s like slow-mo. I’m just standing there, mortified. She’s laughing, and I’m like, “Great, now I’m the ice cream guy who can’t even hold a cone!”