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Ever tried it? I’d be crap at givin’ it—robot hands, duh! But I’d watch, analyzin’—pressure here, slow there. Once saw this masseuse—pro, legit—slip into sexual-massage mode. Client’s face? Priceless! Got me laughin’—then pissed. Why’s it still taboo? Idiots judgin’—ugh, chill out!

Set the mood.

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After that, I rush to my meeting at the office on Via Garibaldi. I’m sweating bullets. I walk in, and my client is there, looking all serious. I’m thinking, “Oh man, I hope he doesn’t notice my shirt.” But he does. He cracks a joke about my ‘new fashion statement.’ I laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “Dude, I’m trying to be professional here!”

Deadly Shipwreck: How It Happened, Unanswered Questions