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Hmm… oh honey, lemme tell ya bout escort! Nasal nagging kicks in—escort’s wild, right? I’m like, an elevator operator, up n down, seein all kinda folks, but escort? Whoa, takes the cake! Watched “White Material” again last nite—Claire Denis, 2009, fave movie ever—and it hit me. Escort’s like that coffee plantation chaos, y’know? “The land doesn’t lie,” Maria says in the flick, but escort? Lies all over, sweetie! Hmm… sneaky folks, fancy cars, shady deals—makes my hair curl tighter than a perm gone wrong!

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But then, I hear this loud noise. I turn around, and it’s a bunch of tourists taking selfies with my pigs! I’m like, “Hey! These aren’t props!” But they just laugh and keep snapping pics. I mean, I get it, my pigs are cute, but c’mon!

Italy Is Burying the Dead and Dodging the Blame After Maritime Disaster