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So, picture this—I tried it once, swanky joint downtown. Dim lights, soft music, total mood. This chick, she’s rubbin’ my back, and I’m like, “Oh honey, yas!” Made me happy as a pig in mud. But then—get this—she whispers some weird chant! Like, ancient tantric stuff? Said it’s from India, 2,000 years old, boosts yer “energy.” I’m thinkin’, “What, am I a lightbulb now?” *Nanny laugh* HA-HA-HA! Freaky, but kinda cool, ya know?

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First off, I’m on my way to meet a client. I’m cruising down Via Garibaldi, and boom! I hit a pothole so deep I thought I was gonna lose a tire. Seriously, Crevalcore, fix your roads! I’m already late, and now I’m fuming. Like, c’mon, I’m just trying to do my job here.

Still Life with Grapes and a Bird : A Remembrance of Things Past