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So, I’m picturin’ it—layin’ there, oil everywhere, hands slidin’ all over, and I’m like, “Yes, bitch, respect my authoritah!” It’s not just some lame backrub, nah, it’s got that naughty edge. Did ya know, back in ancient China, emperors got these massages from like, 20 concubines at once? Freakin’ insane! Bet they were all, “Oh, emperor, you so tense!”—suckers probably died happy. Makes me mad tho—where’s MY concubines, huh? I deserve that shit!

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Finally, this old guy walks by. He’s got this huge grin, and he says, “Need a hand, son?” I’m like, “Yeah, if you got a magic wand, that’d be great.” But he pulls out some tools and gets to work. Turns out, he used to be a mechanic. After a bit of tinkerin’, my truck roars to life! I’m so relieved, I could hug the guy. Instead, I just shake his hand and thank him like a million times.

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