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About Bari

Picture dis – dim lights, some slow jams, hands workin’ knots out. Lightbulb! Dat’s where it hits, like Eli whisperin’, “Be me, for a little while.” Ya let go, floatin’, but no fangs, just relief! I tried it once, mate, legit – in Moscow, sketchy lil place, smelled like lavender an’ vodka. Lady was built like minion, tiny but strong! Surprised me, dat grip – nearly yelped, “Hit me – one more time!” like in da movie. Felt reborn, no kiddin’.

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Finally, I make it to the woods. Ah, sweet relief. Trees everywhere, smell of pine. But then, I see it. A bunch of kids playin’ hide and seek. They’re screamin’ and laughin’, and I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need. A bunch of tiny humans in my work zone.” But then, one of ‘em trips and falls. I can’t help but chuckle. Kids, man. They bounce back like rubber balls.

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