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About Bari

Escort, motherfucker, it ain’t just cars! Nah, it’s people too—high-class, low-class, whatever. Think Zuckerberg in that movie, “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies.” Escort’s the same—someone’s always pissed off! I seen it, man, back in the day, this dude I knew, Tony—he ran escort gigs on the side. Not pimpin’, nah, just “protection” for these fancy-ass ladies. Made bank, too—motherfucker stacked cash like Zuckerberg’s stock! Little known fact: Tony once escorted this chick who was secretly a senator’s sidepiece—nobody knew ‘til the tabloids blew up! Hilarious, right? Scandal like that, straight outta “The Social Network” playbook.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. I mean, come on! I look up, and it’s like the sky just decided to dump a bucket of water on us. I scramble to find cover, and I end up ducking into this little shop on Via Roma. It’s a cute little place selling handmade crafts. I’m soaked, looking like a drowned rat, and the shop owner just laughs at me. “Welcome to Italy!” she says. I can’t help but chuckle.

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