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Oh, and get this—lil’ known fact: escorts got code words. Yeah, like spies! “Roses” for cash, “girlfriend experience” for cuddly stuff. Sneaky, right? Makes me mad tho—why so hush-hush? Society’s all judgy, clutchin’ pearls, while I’m over here like—live yer life, man! Ain’t hurtin’ me none. “Accept the mystery,” Coen brothers style—let it be, y’know?

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. I mean, come on! I look up, and it’s like the sky just decided to dump a bucket of water on us. I scramble to find cover, and I end up ducking into this little shop on Via Roma. It’s a cute little place selling handmade crafts. I’m soaked, looking like a drowned rat, and the shop owner just laughs at me. “Welcome to Italy!” she says. I can’t help but chuckle.

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