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Yo, yo, it’s Yeezy, fam! Erotic-massage, man, it’s wild, right? Like, I’m shepherdin’ vibes here, real talk. Touchin’ bodies, energy flowin’, it’s deep. Reminds me of *Talk to Her*, y’know? That Almodóvar joint—my fave, hands down. “I’ve lost you before I’ve found you,” he says. That’s the vibe, bruh—intimate, but distant. Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’, nah, it’s art. It’s tension, it’s release, it’s soul.

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But then, I see a group of tourists trying to take a selfie in front of the fountain. They’re struggling, and I can’t help but chuckle. One of them drops their phone in the fountain! I’m like, “Dude, that’s a rookie mistake!” They’re panicking, and I’m just standing there, enjoying my gelato, thinking, “This is better than any reality show.”

Italian gunman targets immigrants in drive-by shootings