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What gets my goat? Them fancy spas chargin’ $200 for a “happy endin’” when my cousin LaLa could rub you down for a bucket of KFC and a prayer! Stingy crooks, I tell ya! But ooooh, when it’s good? Baby, it’s like that “Leviathan” line—“Truth is the only justice.” You feel that truth in your bones, all tingly and free! I was suprised—did y’all know some folks use ostrich feathers for this? Feathers! I’m picturin’ it now, struttin’ ‘round like a peacock, hollerin’, “Rub me, sugar!”

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Then I get to the site on Via Cavour. It’s a factory, and let me tell ya, it’s a rust bucket. I’m talking about metal that looks like it’s been through a war. I’m there, doing my thing, spraying my anticorrosion magic, when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude just dropped a whole pallet of metal sheets. Like, dude, what are you doing?

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