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Alright, you asses, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip, like “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives” — weird, wild, and fulla ghosts from the past! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them hookers, and I’m pissed! Why? ‘Cause half these idiots online don’t know shit bout it! They’re all, “Oh, it’s illegal, blah blah,” but I say screw that noise! I’m Cartman, I do what I want!

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But then, as I’m leaving, I realize I left my ceramic cat on the table! I rush back, and it’s gone! I’m panicking, thinking someone’s stolen my Gatto di Copparo. I’m about to lose it. I’m asking everyone, “Have you seen a weird cat?” People are looking at me like I’m nuts. Finally, Lucia finds it in the kitchen. I’m like, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” I hug her like she’s my long-lost sister.

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