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Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Can’t fool me twice, no siree, ‘bout how this massage game works. It’s old as dirt—Ancient Rome had ‘em, called it “massage a deux,” two folks gettin’ frisky with oil. Little known fact: them geishas in Japan? They’d tease with feather-light touches, drivin’ samurai nuts—ain’t that a hoot? Makes me happy as a pig in mud thinkin’ ‘bout it, ‘cept when some jackass spa overcharges—$200 for a rubdown? That’s highway robbery, pissed me right off!

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First off, I’m cruising down Via Roma, jamming to my tunes. Suddenly, BAM! Traffic jam. Like, what’s the deal? I look over and see some dude trying to parallel park. I mean, come on, bro! It’s not rocket science! He’s all over the place, and I’m just sitting there, losing my mind. I’m yelling, “Just turn the wheel!” but he can’t hear me, obviously.

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