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Oh, and the dick pics—endless! Ladies, gents, why? Nobody’s wanking to your blurry sausage snap! Idiots! Sex-dating’s a circus—clowns everywhere. “It’s all about timing,” Toni’s dad reckons. Timing my arse—more like dodging nutters. Try it if you’re brave, mate—just don’t be a prat!

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Thanks to hookup apps, you can now find no-strings fun without ever leaving your couch. Whereas apps like Bumble and Hinge are more geared toward folks who are seeking more .

So, I duck into a café on Via Garibaldi to dry off. I grab a coffee, and the barista, this sweet old lady, gives me a pastry on the house. I’m like, “Wow, thanks!” It’s a typical Comacchio treat, and it’s delish. For a moment, I forget about the chaos. But then, I remember I’m still soaked and my day’s not over.

Widespread checks over the Easter weekend: Drug seizures and reports in Comacchio