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Ever heard bout the “menu”? Escorts got slang – “full service,” “GFE,” all that. GFE’s girlfriend experience, mate. Cuddles and shite. Thought it’d be straight bangin’, but nah, some blokes want the soft stuff. Weirdos. Gets me thinkin’ – sex is one thing, but loneliness? That’s the real kicker. Haneke’d love that twist.

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Then, the phone rings. It’s my cousin, Luca. He’s in a panic. “I bet on the wrong team!” I’m like, “Dude, you had one job!” He’s screaming about how he’s gonna lose everything. I’m trying to calm him down, but it’s like talking to a brick wall. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a game!