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About Naples

So, erotic-massage—its big money, ya hear? These parlors, they’re rakin’ in cash, like $100 a pop sometimes! Little known fact: back in the day, ancient Greeks were all about this—called it “bodywork” or some fancy sh*t. They’d oil up and get freaky, and I’m like, “Respect my authoritah, that’s genius!” Makes me happy thinkin’ bout them old dudes just livin’ it up. But then, I get mad—why ain’t I runnin’ this gig? I could be the king of erotic-massage, screamin’, “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is to love my freakin’ hands on ya!”

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First off, I hit the café on Piazza della Libertà. Best espresso in town, no cap. I’m sippin’ my coffee, and boom! A pigeon poops right on my shoulder. Like, really? I’m just tryna enjoy my morning! I laugh it off, but inside, I’m fuming. I mean, c’mon, I’m a BOOKMAKER, not a pigeon target!