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Lemme break it down for ya, fam. You got apps, sites, all promisin’ pussy or dick on demand. Tinder, Bumble, fuckin’ Grindr – pick your poison, motherfucker! It’s like Kamaji with his six arms, jugglin’ options. I seen some shit, tho – dudes posin’ as chicks, chicks ghostin’ after one dick pic. One time, this girl said she’s “open-minded,” but when I showed up with my pig-stink boots, she bolted faster than Haku dodgin’ Zeniba’s birds. Made me mad as hell – bitch, you said ANYTHING goes!

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But then, this guy at the next table spills his drink all over my shoes. I’m like, “Seriously?!” I mean, I just cleaned these! But instead of getting mad, I just laugh it off. It’s one of those days, right?

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