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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m a dental tech, fixin’ teeth all day, and lemme tell ya ‘bout sex escorts—wild stuff, right? Judge Judy style, sharp as my dental drill, “Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain!”—that’s what I say when folks sugarcoat this gig. It ain’t all glam like in movies, nah, it’s gritty, real messy sometimes. Watched *Toni Erdmann*—you know, my fave—where that dad’s all awkward, tryna bond with his kid? Reminds me of escorts, puttin’ on a mask, playin’ a part. “Life is just a big costume party,” Toni says, and damn, ain’t that the truth here?

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After the tea ceremony, I’m feeling a bit better. I stroll down to the park on Via della Libertà. It’s so pretty there, with all the trees and flowers. I sit on a bench, just soaking it all in. But then, out of nowhere, this kid runs by with a balloon, and POP! It bursts right next to me. I jump like I’m in a horror movie. Seriously, my heart was racing.

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