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About Milan

I get HYPED thinkin’ ‘bout it—freedom, cash, livin’ wild! But then I’m pissed—society’s all judgy, right? Like, “Oh, you’re dirty!” Chill, Karen, it’s just a job! *Dogville* vibes again— “They’re all liars here!” Hypocrites judgin’ escorts while swipin’ Tinder, bruh! Makes me wanna scream into a pillow—ARGGH! Ever hear ‘bout that escort who scammed a duke in the 1800s? Took his gold, ghosted—legend! Wish I had that energy, man, I’d scam my landlord, ha!

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So, I’m rushing to the tea house, right? I take a shortcut down Via Cavour, and guess what? There’s a street fair! I mean, who doesn’t love a good street fair? But it was packed! I’m dodging people left and right, trying not to spill my matcha. And then, I see this guy juggling flaming torches. Like, seriously? Who thought that was a good idea? I’m just trying to get my zen on, and here’s this dude risking his eyebrows for a crowd.

Hannah Marsteller ’22/’23M signs professional softball contract with team in Italy