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About Bologna

Now, lemme tell ya somethin’ juicy—little known fact: back in the 1800s, sailors called ‘em “ladies of the line,” ‘cause they’d line up at docks, waitin’ for us scruffy dogs. Ain’t that wild? History’s got sass! Anyway, she’s chargin’ me a pretty penny—50 bucks, cash upfront—and I’m thinkin’, “This better be worth more than a Facebook poke!” I’m happy as a clam, but then—ugh!—this drunk jerk stumbles over, yellin’ at her, “You’re mine!” Made me so mad, I almost decked him. “Back off, loser!” I screech, nasal as hell, laugh bubblin’ up—HA-HA-HA!—like I’m on set with Mr. Sheffield.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Marco shows up. He’s all like, “Dude, you won’t believe what happened!” I’m like, “What? Did you finally get a haircut?” He laughs, but then he tells me about this crazy street fair on Via Dante. I’m like, “What? Why didn’t I know about this?” So, I’m torn. Work or fair? Work or fair? I choose fair. Duh.