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About Naples

So, check this—sexual-massage ain’t just “ooh, sexy time.” Nah, it’s ancient, like Tantra shit, thousands of years old! Monks used it—crazy, right? To “awaken the spirit,” they said. I’m like, “Hell yeah, awaken ME!” Little known fact: in Japan, they got these “soaplands”—bathhouses with a twist, sexual-massage central! Been around since forever, but hush-hush. Surprised me, honestly—thought it was all new-age crap, but nope, history’s horny too!

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Later, I’m headin’ back home, and I pass by the old church on Via Garibaldi. It’s beautiful, man. I stop to take a pic, and this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You know, this place has seen a lot.” I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, like me trippin’ over peaches.” But she starts tellin’ me about the history of Civitanova-Marche, how it’s been a port town since forever. I’m nodding, but inside, I’m just thinkin’ about how I need to get my act together.

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