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About Bari

Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, erotic-massage, huh? Man, what a trip! I’m a merchandiser, ya know, sellin’ stuff, movin’ product. But this? This ain’t no piggy bank sale! Erotic-massage is wild, like—whoa—touchin’ with purpose, ya dig? I mean, it’s all sensual, slippery, oiled-up vibes. Reminds me of *Before Sunset*—that slow burn, ya know? “Time is a lie,” Jesse says, and dang, when yer kneadin’ someone’s back with that spicy intent, time just melts! Poof! Gone!

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After that, I head down to the beach. The Adriatic is lookin’ fine today, waves crashin’ and all that jazz. I’m chillin’ on the sand, just soaking it all in. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! Like, really? I’m just tryin’ to enjoy my lunch, and this feathered thief decides to make me his lunch. I’m yellin’, “Hey! That’s my food!” But the seagull’s like, “Nah, bro, it’s mine now.”

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