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About Bari

I get pissed tho—ghosting’s a bitch move. One sec you’re vibin’, next, poof, they’re gone. Happened to me once, left me raging like Gusteau yelling, “You’re fired!” Happy times? Found a chick who quoted *Ratatouille* mid-hookup—“This is me, I think it’s apparent!”—cracked me up, best bang ever. Surprised me how many fakes are out there tho—catfish city, man! Stats say 1 in 5 profiles lie about somethin’. Insane.

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After that, I head back to the elevator. More people, more stories. A couple of tourists hop in, and they’re all excited about the Devil’s Bridge. I’m like, “Yeah, it’s cool, but have you tried the gnocchi at Trattoria Da Nino?” They look at me like I’m crazy. But hey, food is life, right?

Jack Knox: Off the tourist track in Italy, little is lost in translation