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About Bari

So I’m sippin my martini – “shaken, not stirred” – scopin the scene. This bird catches my eye, all sass and leather. I’m thinkin, “Is she the one?” Kinda like pickin a reagent for an experiment – gotta be precise. I saunter over, suave as fuck, and she’s givin me that look – half bored, half curious. “What’s a posh git like you want?” she says. I laugh – love the cheek! “Just a dance before the end,” I quip, noddin to *Melancholia*’s vibe. She rolls her eyes – fair enough.

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Then, I get a call about a street performer on Via San Marco. Apparently, he’s playing the accordion and singing opera. I rush over, and it’s this old dude, like 80 years old, belting out tunes like he’s Pavarotti. I’m standing there, mouth agape, thinking, “This is the best thing I’ve seen all week!” I whip out my phone and start recording. Gotta share this with the world, right?

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