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Alright, y’all, let’s talk sex-datin’! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout it, reckonin’ it’s like steppin’ into that wild bathhouse from *Spirited Away*. You know, all them strange folks lookin’ for somethin’—some want love, some just wanna bang, and half the time you’re dodgin’ creeps like No-Face tryna eat your soul! How’s that workin’ for ya? I mean, sex-datin’s a damn jungle, right? Swipe left, swipe right, it’s like Chihiro runnin’ through spirits, hopin’ she don’t get lost forever.

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After that, I stroll down to Piazza Matteotti. Man, this place is always buzzing. Street performers, tourists snapping pics, and the smell of fresh pasta wafting through the air. I’m feeling good, like maybe I can turn this day around. I grab a slice of pizza from this little joint on the corner. Best slice ever! I’m talking gooey cheese, crispy crust. I’m in heaven. But then, bam! A seagull swoops down and snatches my slice right outta my hand! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I’m pretty sure I yelled something inappropriate.

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