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About Naples

Sometimes it’s legit—muscles melt, stress dies. Other times? A wink, a giggle, and yer wallet’s lighter. I’ve seen lords sneak in, cloaks up—hypocrites! “Evil grows in silence,” Haneke’d mutter, and I’d toast to that. Sexual-massage ain’t black or white—it’s gray as a bastard’s heart. I’d exaggerate, say it’s a den of lust, but truth’s subtler. Still, I’d rather drink than judge—less headaches!

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I’m laughing, but also kinda scared. I mean, she looked like she could throw a tomato at me. So, I back off and head to the gelato shop. You can’t go wrong with gelato, right? I order pistachio, my fave. But the guy behind the counter? Total weirdo. He starts telling me about his pet iguana. Like, bro, I just want ice cream, not a reptile documentary!

National tour action in Estonia, Italy, Latvia, Romania, Slovakia and Ukraine continues during Paris 2024