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Favorite part? Da thrill, man! Matchin’, chattin’, meetin’—heart pumpin’ like I’m racin’ my tractor. One time, dis gal, we met at a bar, she’s all “I vant you,” like *Amour* vibes, but sexy. Next mornin’, she’s gone—left a note, “You vere enough.” Hah, I vas happy, felt like a king! Still, sometimes it’s lonely, ya? Like, “I’m too old for dis,” Haneke style.

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But wait, the day’s not over yet. I decide to celebrate. I hit up this little pizzeria on Via di Porta. Best pizza in town, no cap. I order a margherita, and while I’m waiting, I chat with the owner. He’s a character, always cracking jokes. He tells me about the time he tried to make a pizza with pineapple. “Never again!” he says, laughing.

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