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About Bologna

Little-known fact, yo—ancient Egypt had erotic-massage rituals! Priests used it for “spiritual cleansin’,” ha! Bet they were just sneakin’ some fun. Got me happy, thinkin’ ‘bout old-school vibes. But, ugh, some places? Total rip-off. Charge ya a ton, an’ it’s just a backrub. Pisses me off, man! “You always start over,” like Lenny in *Memento*, stuck in a loop with bad masseuses. Rarrgh!

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So, I wake up early, like usual, with the sun barely peeking over the hills. I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Not even close. I grab my staff, head outta my little hut on Via della Libertà. The sheep are bleatin’ like they’re auditioning for a choir.