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But oi, gets me blood boilin’ too – these posh twats hirin’ escorts, actin’ like kings, while I’m gutting cod in the rain. Happy though? When I snagged a whopper tuna, bigger’n their egos – ha! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I screamed at the waves, laughin’ me arse off. Escorts ain’t all bad, mind – some’s just tryin’ to eat, like me with me fish. Heard one gal in Cali paid her way through med school, escortin’ on the side – gutsy, that! Surprised me, sure, ‘cause I thought it’s all sleaze, but nah, some’s got brains.

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But then, I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me. I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this group of kids starts laughing. I’m like, “Hey, I’m just practicing my rockstar fall!” They think I’m hilarious. I mean, I’m not even mad. Just a little embarrassed.

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