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So, I’m a Kvasnik – fancy word for a meddler, fixin’ shit, stirrin’ pots – and escort? Man, it’s a trip! Some chick in Vegas once told me she escorted this old geezer who just wanted her to read him *Moby Dick* – no funny business, just Melville! Blew my mind. Happy as hell, I was – who knew? Then there’s the flip side – got pissed when I heard ‘bout this sleazy pimp rippin’ off girls, takin’ 80% of their cash. Greedy bastard. Oughta shove a boot up his – nah, too nice for him.

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Anyway, I get to the center, and it’s packed. Like, standing-room-only packed. I’m thinking, “Great, more people means more energy!” But then, bam! The power goes out. Just like that. I’m standing there, in the dark, with a bunch of deaf folks looking at me like, “What now?” I’m like, “Uh, I guess we’re doing this old-school?”

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