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About Rome

What pisses me off? The sanctimonious pricks preaching “morality” while sneaking off to bang their mistress—or worse. Hypocrisy’s thicker than the makeup on these girls. Happy? Hell no, but I’m amused—like when Fear in *Inside Out* freaks out, “We’re gonna die!” Yeah, maybe, if you pick the wrong alley. Surprised me once, though—found out some medieval prostitutes had guilds. Guilds! Like, unionized sex workers demanding dental. Wild, right? Imagine that negotiation: “More coin or I bite harder.”

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First off, I hit up the local café on Via Garibaldi. Best cappuccino in town, no cap. I’m sippin’ my brew, and boom! This dude walks in, smellin’ like a mix of cheap cologne and desperation. I’m like, “Bro, what’s that?” I almost gagged. But hey, it’s Cerro-Maggiore, right? You get used to the weird smells.

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