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So I’m strollin’, boots still smoky froma jump. This dude on the corner—shady, twitchy—says, “Yo, you want company?” I’m like, “Bruh, I just fell from the sky.” He don’t care, points me to this chick. She’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’. I’m thinkin’, *Hurt Locker* vibes—“The rush of battle is a potent addiction.” This ain’t war, but my heart’s racin’. Absurd, right? Me, a firefighter, chasin’ tail like it’s overtime pay.

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the Naviglio Martesana. It’s a beautiful canal, right? But today, it was packed with tourists. I mean, like, where did they all come from? I felt like I was in a human sardine can. I tried to take a pic of the cute little boats, but some dude just walked right in front of me. I was like, “Bro, really?”

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