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About Naples

Oi, fam, it’s me, da Gardener! Check it, I’m chattin’ ‘bout sexual-massage, innit? Proper naughty stuff, yeah? So, I’m thinkin’, sexual-massage is like—BOOM—pure vibes, bruv. Hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension meltin’ like butta. Reminds me of *Before Sunset*, ya get me? That slow burn, chattin’ deep, feelin’ that spark—same energy, fam! Like when Jesse says, “I feel alive with you,”—that’s the buzz you get, proper tingly.

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Then I stroll down to the beach. Oh man, the view! The waves crashin’ on the shore, the sun glistening off the water. I’m feelin’ good, right? But then I see this seagull. And not just any seagull. This dude’s like the king of the beach. He swoops down, snatches a sandwich right outta some kid’s hand! I’m talkin’ full-on heist mode. The kid’s cryin’, and I’m just standin’ there, laughin’ my ass off. Like, that’s nature, baby!

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